Did you know that sometimes I create posts with the sole intention of you being able to share them as a way to begin/encourage the conversation(s) you want to have?

This is one of them.

I, personally, cannot stand anyone making a comment about my body- yes, EVEN IF it’s “omg you look so good.”

I’ve never been able to tolerate that. It’s always been triggering. In a bigger body, a smaller body, in a body with a 6-pack and in a body without one.

If you *are* trying to compliment someone on their appearance, try:

“That’s a really cute dress!”

Or

“I love that color on you!”

Or

….nothing. At. All.

“What’s so bad about trying to compliment the way someone looks?”

Literally everything.

For me, it was a reminder that my body was indeed, on display. A well-meaning “you look so good” told my disorder “listen, bitch. You better keep this up at any cost to remain something worth complimenting.”

It also told my disorder: “see? If you lose this, they’ll notice. And they’re going to say something.”

It also confirmed one of my greatest fears: “no one actually knows anything important about me and what I bring to the table because my worthiness relies solely on what I look like. If I don’t look like this, I won’t matter.”

Disorder aside, this is one reason why I resigned from the rat race of “look good at any cost” as well as “what I look like is important.” Fuck that. You will hear my ugly ass roar for eternity because I am wise as fuck whether I look like a swamp witch or not.

Reminders for you:

▶️ other people can continue to assign value to appearance. Doesn’t mean you have to for yourself *and* you can’t change anyone’s mind.

▶️someone else’s assigned meaning to your body is more about their relationship to their body and society’s pressure & has nothing to do with you.

▶️bodies are meant to change. Weight especially is a symptom that doesn’t need to be “cured.” Did you gain weight from recovering from a disorder? From allowing yourself to rest? Recover? Live? Exist? Are you trying to navigate today’s fucked up world? Remind yourself of that.