So often we make choices that we *think* will move us away from discomfort in our lives.
Common cognitive distortion.
The truth is, you will never make a problem free choice.
When faced with options- make a list of all viable problems, issues, complaints, etc.
Then, choose based on the problems you want to deal with the most. YEP- the PROBLEMS.
Expectation management is quite literally one of the most important roles that I play- at least I think so.
Unmanaged expectations can lead to:
Resentment, burn out, frustration, confusion, and quitting.
Quitting is fine, by the way. If it’s coming from a place of choice/desire vs ego.
We typically look at new, unexplored choices through rose colored glasses. I see folks do this all the time.
It can sound like:
Once I switch jobs, then I’ll be happy.
Well, it depends. What exactly is making you unhappy about your job? And what is the likelihood those similar issues will be present at your next job? It depends on why you’re unhappy to begin with, so you can make an informed and empowered choice that truly moves you away from the actual issues.
”once I lose weight I’ll be happy.”
Problems include: food neurosis, body dysmorphia, slowed metabolism, and even more weight gain in the future. If those are problems you want, go for it.
”once my business makes more money, then I’ll be happy.”
What problems will arise on your path to more money and what issues will be present once you have more money?
”once I move, then I’ll be happy.”
Mmmmm, maybe partially? Like I know I’d be happier if I moved somewhere without winter- but all of my *other* problems will follow me- as they do.
At the end of the day, we tend to repeat patterns that will give us similar experiences regardless of our circumstances. That’s a hairy topic for another day.
The point is: make choices based on the set of problems you want to deal with. Every choice comes with a new set of problems. Choose accordingly.