Pay attention to who you’re taking advice from.

Sure, maybe they LOOK how you want to “look,” but do they LIVE how you want to live?

Do you want to have to scour every menu before you go out to eat to see if you’re “allowed” to eat there?

Do you want to have to pack all of your own food every time you travel?

Do you want to have to worry about only staying at hotels that have a gym because the thought of actually taking a restful vacation freaks you out?

Do you want to have to start a “cleanse” or “detox” after every damn holiday just to feel like you’re in control again?

Do you want to have to march to the scale every morning because you have no other barometer for success?

I don’t know, you tell me.

Because I was there. I was so desperate to feel better that I swore I didn’t care what it would take to get there.

I was so illogical. Desperate people do desperate things. I didn’t care how inconvenient or unsustainable it would be. I was so blinded by anyone who I felt looked better than me and who said shit like “nothing tastes as good as skinny feels.” And I believed it.

And it fulfilled the very prophecy I was always calling into my existence: “something is wrong with me. Nothing works. I’ll always feel this way. I’m just meant to be miserable and hate myself.” Because everything was so complicated and so disruptive, I was never able to see anything through. Not for lack of trying. Not for lack of willpower. But because everywhere I was looking was so extreme. Comply or die. Perfection or failure. And it all made me feel like something was wrong with me – and to be honest, I think I liked it.

I could be the victim forever!

So, what changed?

1) The idea that the love and self respect comes after. It comes first.

2) That enjoying your life comes after the result. That comes first, too.

3) The responsibility. It’s on me. It’s on me to be an adult and pull my head out of my ass and realize that if I can’t do this thing forever – with a smile on my face – the result isn’t worth it. Ever. No matter what. In fact, if you can’t do that thing forever – you’ll probably never even see the result.