Playing the Game (and other things that held back my business)

If you’re like me, learning how to grow and scale an online business feels synonymous with being a fake, over-produced slime ball. That’s how I felt for years.

Why did I have to learn how to “show up” online? Wasn’t I educated enough to not have to play by some unspoken rule book?

Why did I have to learn how to write copy? Wasn’t I smart enough to not have to swindle people into hiring me?

Why did I have to learn how to be a marketer? Don’t only desperate people do that? Shouldn’t people just KNOW they want to hire me? 

Then there was the added layer of bullshit I convinced myself of:

It wasn’t that I wasn’t good at my job, it’s that I wasn’t pretty enough.
Then I wasn’t thin enough.
Then I wasn’t ripped enough.
Then I wasn’t sexy enough.

When I became a business mentor (I had been approached by several women and they wanted to pick my brain) I told myself I wasn’t “rich enough” to help anyone build a business.
No Range Rover.
No bear skin rug.
No window-lined sun room that overlooked a stamped concrete porch.
No fancy office decorated perfectly by Pottery Barn.

(To this day, none of the above is true- no Range Rover, no bear skin rug, not one single item from Pottery Barn in this house, and I’ve helped dozens of women build a joyful and profitable online biz!)

From the outside looking in, building an online brand can totally look like it’s playing a game.
And if you’re full of integrity and if authentic-AF is your middle name, too, then it can feel really gross
until you work with someone who can break it down for you and show you that it isn’t gross.

Here’s what you need to know:

1. You have a gift to share with the world. And you deserve to be compensated for it. You would never work at a corporation for free. Why you’ve decided to demonize making money for your passion is a learned construct that we’ve been taught that says passion + income cannot coexist. It tells us that our jobs must be unfulfilling but they pay our bills. It tells us that our passions are what we do to fill our time otherwise- but if we accept money for our passion, it’s somehow less virtuous in some way. It’s wrong. It’s stealing. It takes away the magic.

NO. No forever. No until the end of time. You’re allowed to love your job. You’re allowed to turn your passion into profits.

2. People can benefit in deep and meaningful ways from the work that you do. Settle into a deep and unwavering knowing of this truth- that your work is needed by others and that you can be an instrument in someone else’s life.

3. You have a choice. Here’s how I see it: who am I unable to help if I don’t learn how to market & sell my services? It was my ego that made me believe that I shouldn’t have to “follow rules” in order to change others’ lives. The truth is that by not learning how to attract clients into my business online, that I am directly hindering the growth of my future potential clients. That probably sounds far more egotistical than my initial thought- but it’s not. I am deeply invested in each of my clients, their growth, and their journey. I also know that I am not the coach for everyone- but when it’s a good fit- holy shit– we can move mountains. Who am I to withhold that magic from someone else who may be a good fit?

By not learning how to attract new clients, I have closed the invitation for other women to work with me. By not learning how to grow an online business, I got to cling to my old bullshit stories about what it means to “sell out” by “playing the game” while also creating evidence in my reality that “I’m not pretty enough, I’m not rich enough, I’m not good enough”- none of which were actually true.

The secret? I got over myself. I examined my value and what I bring to the table for each of my clients. I realized my passion + my gifts should be shared with others and that I wanted to learn how to invite other women to work with me.

It shifted my entire business from “Christina-focused” to “client focused.”
Marketing is simply an invitation.
It’s not selling out.
It’s not a game.
It’s an invitation.
I wanted to learn how to invite as many women to work with me as possible which does require a strategy.

If your business decisions are all about YOU- you won’t get very far. This is an art. There is a balance.
It takes time. But I knew that by playing small, I would be unable to have more impact.

The “game” does not require you to sell-out or step out of your values system.

You can strategically market your service and articulate your value without spending one single second
out of alignment.

I promise.

If you want to learn how to authentically invite more women to work with you so that you can profit from your passion without feeling like a sellout,  we can do that together inside The Confidence Coach’s Club.
You can read more here.

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