130: The Problem With Positivity- It’s OK to not always be OK

This was a hard one to break down! On the one hand, I don’t want anyone to walk around being rooted in negativity and victim-mindset. At the end of the day, we still have to take responsibility for our lives. This is not the antithesis to that, but rather, another tool in order to help you take responsibility.

Sometimes that responsibility means taking ownership of healing. And if you’re running around preaching or thinking POSITIVE VIBES ONLY, then you are cutting yourself off from actual emotions, from connection, from support, and even from the acknowledgement that there’s work to do.

Gratitude works- I’m not anti-gratitude by any means- but sometimes it’s OK to compartmentalize your life, show and feel gratitude for the areas of your life that genuinely are OK, while still acknowledging that other areas of your life might simply just suck right now. We cannot judge those feelings of sadness, grief, loss, trauma, anger, etc. We actually have to lean in and feel them.

Unfortunately, the heavy stuff isn’t Pinterest or IG-worthy. And honestly it’s a damn shame. So many women are stuck feeling ashamed if their life doesn’t fit into the flowery frame of “positive vibes only” and are left with no positive outlets or support when they need it most. Yes, an outlet can be positive without it being rooted in the judgement that “ONLY POSITIVE VIBES ARE ACCEPTED HERE!”

Now, this isn’t your permission to slip to go out into the world and be a drama-queen. This is not your permission slip to try and process your emotions all over social media, all over the work office, or anywhere and everywhere you go. There is a middle ground- it’s subtle, it’s tricky to navigate- but take this from the girl who spent almost 3 decades of her life shoving her emotions down and hiding them from literally everyone- it makes it really harder to process ANYTHING. And we grow into better humans when we process our emotions, when we allow ourselves to feel a wide range of emotions ranging from rage to joy. All emotions are OK. All vibes are OK.

It’s not positive vibes only. It’s OK to not be OK.