“I can’t wait to feel skinny so I can…” That was me- for more than half of my life. I couldn’t wait to lose weight and “feel skinny” so I could finally enjoy my life. Feel confident. Worthy. Enough. See the world. So everything wouldn’t feel so hard. So I could finally be happy.
So, I waited. The story in my head was that my life wouldn’t change for the better UNTIL I reached my goal. Skinny. I needed to be skinny so that my life could begin.
It’s almost as if the more miserable the journey was, the better my life would be once I got there. “See how miserable you feel now? It’ll be better once you get there.” That’s all I could believe.
Ask yourself this: “once I reach my goal, I will….” Because the truth is, whatever you’re waiting for is yours for the taking right fucking now.
But we’ve been fed this story that your entire life begins on the other side of some body goal… or any goal for that matter. Everything you’re waiting to feel is on the other side of a different body. Or more money. Or a new job. Or a new partner. Or a new city.
And none of it is true.
Ask yourself: “I want to be skinny so that I can feel….” Because the truth it- you probably don’t want to “feel skinny.” You’re just thinking that it’ll make you feel a certain way. But if you dig deep for a second, it’s probably something along the lines of: accepted, loved, secure, safe, proud… And you can do things right fucking now that can make you feel that way. It has nothing to do with your body. I promise you, it doesn’t.
What would a confident version of me wear? Say? Think? How would a strong version of me move? How would a secure version of me respond or react?
None of this has anything to do with what you look like. You don’t feel the way you feel because of how you look- it’s how you FEEL about it.
A miserable version of you now will be just as miserable when you lose the weight. You’ll just… weigh less.
Just like a miserable version of you now will be just as miserable once you get a raise, win the lotto, move away, find a new partner… you’ll just- have different circumstances.
The problem is never the problem. The solution is never the goal.