Would you rather listen to this? You can do that right here:
We’re all guilty of it- and you’ve likely been on both the giving and receiving ends of this.
You lost weight, received a ton of compliments and extra attention about how great you look, what you’ve been doing to get there, praise about your determination and willpower, and maybe even comments that sounded like “I wish I was as dedicated as you are!”
Or, your friend or family member lost weight, you liked all of her social media posts about it,
told her she looked fabulous, (whether or not you were jealous about it is a completely different story) and commend her for all of her work, effort, and dedication.
So, what’s the problem?
Why is it that weight loss is the only thing women are praised about? No one is nearly as excited when a woman brags about her newest PR in the weight room. Hell, *most* people don’t even know what that is!
No one cares nearly as much if someone were to post about their improved fasting blood glucose levels.
No one cares nearly as much, if at all, if a woman repairs her relationship with food and is no longer anxious, guilty, or neurotic about her intake.
The problem is that no one asks these women how they did it.
Are they happy?
If the answer is yes, we now have another problem on our hands because…
Really? So you were unhappy before because you had 30 pounds to lose and now suddenly,
all of your life’s problems have vanished because you lost the weight? Is it really that simple?
Is losing weight really the happiest journey you’ll ever go on?
If so, you need a new life and a new definition of happiness immediately.
My question is this: what did you do to lose the weight?
Spent multiple hours each day on the treadmill?
Skipped out on birthday or anniversary dinners because #willpower?
Counted every calorie that went into your mouth for months on end?
Calculated how long you’d have to be at the gym to burn off that piece of birthday cake?
YEP! SOUNDS LIKE A SUPER HAPPY LIFE TO ME!
So while every “trainer” and gym across the country along with every
person with an Instagram or a Facebook account can continue to tell us stories
that losing weight is the only thing worth celebrating when it comes to our bodies, I am here to remind you
that you’re missing the entire point.
Each time you congratulate your friend for losing weight and say
“you look great!” you are replaying the narrative that before? She didn’t look great.
Before? She wasn’t worthy of any praise. Before? Not good.
While losing weight is fine, it should only happen as a natural byproduct of taking
care of yourself.
In case you’re so far gone into the diet-culture rabbit hole, taking care of yourself
includes but is not limited to:
-Moving in a way that you enjoy every day
-Exercising regularly in a way that you enjoy
-Getting quality sleep every night
-Proper stress management
-Doing things that you enjoy that have nothing to do with exercise
-Eating foods that bring you joy without worry, anxiety, guilt, sadness, punishment, or shame
-Eating foods your body thrives off of (thanks to diet culture, this idea has been completely ruined)
-A social life that suits your personal preferences and needs
-A solid self-care routine
-Practicing gratitude daily
The pursuit of weight loss alone is a sad, isolating, and a potentially damaging journey to go on.
Go ahead, start asking questions to those who have lost weight. Did they keep it off for good?
Were they happy? Are they happy now? Is putting so much merit and praise on weight loss
really the stories we want to keep alive? Or is there something more important about our bodies
other than constantly trying to shrink?
Ready to feel confident AF?
You’ve probably thought to yourself no less than 100 times: “my life would be full of more fun, better clothes, hotter sex, a better marriage, and more accolades if I could just lose these last 20 pounds AGAIN and for the last time!” Right?
If the thought of losing weight is THE THING you’re holding onto that you believe will unlock all of life’s secrets- this is the course for you.
If the thought of changing your body- whether that’s a boob job, nose job, hair extensions, more makeup, new clothes, WHATEVER is THE THING you’re banking on changing your life and how you feel about yourself? This is the course for you.
Here’s a secret: your obsession with your distaste for yourself will never, ever go away no matter how many pounds you lose, no matter how long your hair is, no matter how many snacks you can eat off your boobs, no matter how expensive your yoga pants are, and no matter how many hours you’ve spent in the gym or gagging down kale smoothies. Otherwise, wouldn’t you be in love with yourself by now? Seriously.
The best part is that I can teach you how.
I can teach you where your body image story came from and how to undo it.
I can teach you how to start rewriting your body image narrative right now.
All of us have not only the ability, but the right to feel empowered AF in our body RIGHT NOW- no matter what it looks like.
This is not an encouragement to “let yourself go” or an encouragement for you to remain sedentary and apathetic about your health for the rest of your life- actually, it’s quite the opposite.
What could your life look like if you actually chose to eat well AND exercise regularly?
What if you did those things to serve yourself instead of only to try and shrink yourself?
What would your life feel like if you did those things without an external expectation?
WHAT IF– loving your body is the missing piece to your weight loss after all?
I’d be willing to venture a guess that yes- loving your body right now is the missing piece to everything in your life that seems to be missing. It’s not the last 5-pounds, it’s not more cardio, and it’s sure as shit not more kale smoothies.
Body Confidence Bootcamp is a self-paced, 7-module course with videos, guides, and journal prompts to help you heal your body image journey.
Want in on the course? Grab it here!
Want it for $100 off?
Enter “THECONFIDENCEPROJECT” at checkout to grab your discount before it expires on August 14 @ 11:59pm!
I talked to a very close friend of mine (anonymous by request) about a few of her insecurities… NONE of them have anything to do about her weight or her body.
When I look at her? I see things that I wish I had.
She literally has perfect hair.
She can order clothes online and the size she orders not only fits, but it fits PERFECTLY.
She’s kind. Like, you can just see how kind she is by looking at her face.
She has a robust social life.
So what in god’s name does she have to feel insecure about?
And how could a girl like me (read: with cellulite, stretch marks, and depending on what position I’m sitting in- plenty-o’-fat-rolls) possibly help her?
In this episode, I recall a conversation I had with her. And how this very podcast, this very movement, is for EVERY BODY. <3
Here’s a video I did as a follow up to this episode:
I know you’ve done it- you buy every program under the sun thinking this will be it! This is THE THING you need to reach your goals.
Whether you’re trying to lose weight, get strong, get lean AF, or even break into a business ownership role- you’re in constant absorption mode where you just need another perspective, another product, another coach to be able to finally reach your goals!
So far, nothing has worked! You have every workout program you’ve ever purchased in your inbox. You have PDF’s that outline exactly what you’re supposed to be doing… so, to hell with this program and this coach, nothing is working!
Sorry, sister… in most cases the problem IS YOU.
I’ve been there. Every Monday I’d start a new diet, because the last one wasn’t working fast enough. I was miserable, deprived, and so I just needed the next greatest thing to help me GET THERE.
I had every workout program under the sun- and no abs to show for it.
Turns out, I was the common denominator.
Once I got out of my own way, the path to success in all avenues of my life were perfectly clear. But, I can’t say I see that in everyone. Most recently, women who were a part of my cohort in a business mentorship program are wondering why they wasted all of their time and money on such a long and expensive program- claiming it’s a crock of shit and hasn’t worked for them— I’ll leave this up to you to decide- was it the program? Or was it THEM?
Tune in to find out!
This was recorded in MAY! Which is so funny because I still haven’t started reading our July Book Club Book “A Tribe Called Bliss” by Lori Harder. And, just by chance, this episode will be releasing when we’re all reading it. GO FIGURE. But, this is such perfect timing.
I dive into it all.
What are your boundaries, why do they matter, and what do you do when you outgrow your relationships BECAUSE you’ve evolved?
The only people who are offended when you put up boundaries are those who benefited from you having NONE.
While I am a body positive coach- there are a few messages within the “body positivity” community that I don’t necessarily agree with.
Is there a disconnect between your emotional and physical body?
Are you doing the things that make you feel the way you want to feel?
Although there is nothing inherently wrong with wanting to lose weight- it has to come from a place of radical self-love.
What does that look like if we’re not currently where we want to be?
It comes from making sure you’re serving your highest self and not punishing your CURRENT self. Let me repeat that: SERVE YOUR HIGHEST SELF WHILE NOT PUNISHING YOUR CURRENT SELF.
Allow your body to take whatever shape it takes while living your best life.
Episode 61 of The Confidence Project Podcast talks about my take on what a body positivity journey looks like.
Listen to it here or by searching for “The Confidence Project” wherever you listen to podcasts!