The health and fitness industry tells us that weight loss IS health, that dieting IS health, that marching to the scale every morning is just a normal part of it. Want to be part of the fitness crowd? The health and wellness crowd? GREAT. Now, just fall in line, count your calories, and weigh yourself often just make sure you’re doing it right. Right?
Sometimes putting weight loss on the back burner is one of the most HEALING things you can do for yourself. Healthy…healing… HEAL. Do you see the trend? THIS IS WHAT IS IMPORTANT.
There’s a whole host of stuff that goes wrong when we’re dieting all the time. Not to mention- who even knew that women had another option besides weight loss?
Well, I’m here to tell you- there are countless other options for you, your health, & your mental and emotional sanity. And there’s also a bit of a problem when you’re dieting all of the time.
Ever wonder what the effects of constantly dieting are?
Sure, in last week’s we talked about how restricting calories will inevitably lead to a binge- but outside of that, what else are the ramifications of chronically dieting? A WHOLE BUNCH!
We dive on into just the most surface level damaging effects of chronically dieting.
For a long, long, long time- I called myself a weight loss coach. It was on every website, every tagline, and every business card that I had.
What a freakin’ disservice!
Being a weight loss coach is simple. Get women to eat less calories than they’re currently eating. BOOM. Magic. Even more magical would be calling it a cute name and tying it off with a bow.
Let me be clear that I am not anti-weight loss or anti-health. But tell women to stop focusing ONLY on weight loss? And they lose their damn minds. Tell women to let go of dieting forever? FORGET ABOUT IT.
Intuitive eating is gaining some popularity now. And people are either for it, or against it. If you’re against intuitive eating? You just don’t know what it entails yet. The women who are trying out intuitive eating and thinking it doesn’t work? Aren’t quite there yet.
Intuitive eating is quite literally engrained within us. We’ve been eating intuitively since the day we were born. The only reason we’ve lost the ability to eat intuitively is because of a fatphobic and diet-centric society that has taught us otherwise. Whether it’s our parents’ beliefs around food and weight, or our friends, or good ol’ social media.
It’s time to reconnect with yourself. This episode will shed some light on just a few of the misconceptions surrounding intuitive eating.
AND GUESS WHAT?!
I’m opening up a BRAND NEW small-group coaching group for 9 women who are sick of dieting all the damn time.
BEAT THE BINGE starts October 22nd and ends November 18.
The first 5 women to register save $99.
Registration ends Friday, October 19th unless spots fill before then. You can read more about it here!
Would you rather listen to this? You can do that right here:
We’re all guilty of it- and you’ve likely been on both the giving and receiving ends of this.
You lost weight, received a ton of compliments and extra attention about how great you look, what you’ve been doing to get there, praise about your determination and willpower, and maybe even comments that sounded like “I wish I was as dedicated as you are!”
Or, your friend or family member lost weight, you liked all of her social media posts about it,
told her she looked fabulous, (whether or not you were jealous about it is a completely different story) and commend her for all of her work, effort, and dedication.
So, what’s the problem?
Why is it that weight loss is the only thing women are praised about? No one is nearly as excited when a woman brags about her newest PR in the weight room. Hell, *most* people don’t even know what that is!
No one cares nearly as much if someone were to post about their improved fasting blood glucose levels.
No one cares nearly as much, if at all, if a woman repairs her relationship with food and is no longer anxious, guilty, or neurotic about her intake.
The problem is that no one asks these women how they did it.
Are they happy?
If the answer is yes, we now have another problem on our hands because…
Really? So you were unhappy before because you had 30 pounds to lose and now suddenly,
all of your life’s problems have vanished because you lost the weight? Is it really that simple?
Is losing weight really the happiest journey you’ll ever go on?
If so, you need a new life and a new definition of happiness immediately.
My question is this: what did you do to lose the weight?
Spent multiple hours each day on the treadmill?
Skipped out on birthday or anniversary dinners because #willpower?
Counted every calorie that went into your mouth for months on end?
Calculated how long you’d have to be at the gym to burn off that piece of birthday cake?
YEP! SOUNDS LIKE A SUPER HAPPY LIFE TO ME!
So while every “trainer” and gym across the country along with every
person with an Instagram or a Facebook account can continue to tell us stories
that losing weight is the only thing worth celebrating when it comes to our bodies, I am here to remind you
that you’re missing the entire point.
Each time you congratulate your friend for losing weight and say
“you look great!” you are replaying the narrative that before? She didn’t look great.
Before? She wasn’t worthy of any praise. Before? Not good.
While losing weight is fine, it should only happen as a natural byproduct of taking care of yourself.
In case you’re so far gone into the diet-culture rabbit hole, taking care of yourself
includes but is not limited to:
-Moving in a way that you enjoy every day
-Exercising regularly in a way that you enjoy
-Getting quality sleep every night
-Proper stress management
-Doing things that you enjoy that have nothing to do with exercise
-Eating foods that bring you joy without worry, anxiety, guilt, sadness, punishment, or shame
-Eating foods your body thrives off of (thanks to diet culture, this idea has been completely ruined)
-A social life that suits your personal preferences and needs
-A solid self-care routine
-Practicing gratitude daily
The pursuit of weight loss alone is a sad, isolating, and a potentially damaging journey to go on.
Go ahead, start asking questions to those who have lost weight. Did they keep it off for good?
Were they happy? Are they happy now? Is putting so much merit and praise on weight loss
really the stories we want to keep alive? Or is there something more important about our bodies
other than constantly trying to shrink?
If you need another example, you can hear about dieting’s damaging effects by going: here, here, and here.
You’ve probably thought to yourself no less than 100 times: “my life would be full of more fun, better clothes, hotter sex, a better marriage, and more accolades if I could just lose these last 20 pounds AGAIN and for the last time!” Right?
If the thought of losing weight is THE THING you’re holding onto that you believe will unlock all of life’s secrets- this is the course for you.
If the thought of changing your body- whether that’s a boob job, nose job, hair extensions, more makeup, new clothes, WHATEVER is THE THING you’re banking on changing your life and how you feel about yourself? This is the course for you.
Here’s a secret: your obsession with your distaste for yourself will never, ever go away no matter how many pounds you lose, no matter how long your hair is, no matter how many snacks you can eat off your boobs, no matter how expensive your yoga pants are, and no matter how many hours you’ve spent in the gym or gagging down kale smoothies. Otherwise, wouldn’t you be in love with yourself by now?Seriously.
The best part is that I can teach you how.
I can teach you where your body image story came from and how to undo it.
I can teach you how to start rewriting your body image narrative right now.
All of us have not only the ability, but the right to feel empowered AF in our body RIGHT NOW- no matter what it looks like.
This is not an encouragement to “let yourself go” or an encouragement for you to remain sedentary and apathetic about your health for the rest of your life- actually, it’s quite the opposite.
What could your life look like if you actually chose to eat well AND exercise regularly?
What if you did those things to serve yourself instead of only to try and shrink yourself?
What would your life feel like if you did those things without an external expectation?
WHAT IF– loving your body is the missing piece to your weight loss after all?
I’d be willing to venture a guess that yes- loving your body right now is the missing piece to everything in your life that seems to be missing. It’s not the last 5-pounds, it’s not more cardio, and it’s sure as shit not more kale smoothies.
Body Confidence Bootcamp is a self-paced, 7-module course with videos, guides, and journal prompts to help you heal your body image journey.
YOU GUYS!! This is the first time I’ve ever brought a *current* client of mine onto the show.
Tiffany and I started working together in October 2017- and I could not be more humbled to now be able to call this woman a friend of mine. (For reference, we recorded this on June 15, 2018.)
The icing on the cake is the transformation that Tiffany has experienced- mind, body, and soul- since we’ve been working together. She came to me while on the Keto diet and with a totally different brain inside her head! And now? Well…
I can’t even take the credit- she’s a total badass and is so damn coachable, she made my job easy.
While I am a body positive coach- there are a few messages within the “body positivity” community that I don’t necessarily agree with.
Is there a disconnect between your emotional and physical body?
Are you doing the things that make you feel the way you want to feel?
Although there is nothing inherently wrong with wanting to lose weight- it has to come from a place of radical self-love.
What does that look like if we’re not currently where we want to be?
It comes from making sure you’re serving your highest self and not punishing your CURRENT self. Let me repeat that: SERVE YOUR HIGHEST SELF WHILE NOT PUNISHING YOUR CURRENT SELF.
Allow your body to take whatever shape it takes while living your best life.
Episode 61 of The Confidence Project Podcast talks about my take on what a body positivity journey looks like.
Listen to it here or by searching for “The Confidence Project” wherever you listen to podcasts!
You start a new diet, you lose a ton of weight, everyone starts complimenting you and you get all of this new attention.
How can this possibly be bad?!
There is an unspoken dark side to dieting that no one ever talks about. In today’s episode, Arielle Calerdon (IG: @ariellesays) dives in about the behind-the-scenes of a very public weight loss journey. What could possibly go wrong? Tune in to find out.